It's been a year now...

It's almost my birthday, in 5 days to be exact.
Now, I should be excited, but I'm not.

Last year was one of the best birthdays ever. My cotillion was unbelievable and probably my best birthday ever. I don't expect this year's birthday to be anywhere near that, but I don't even have anything planned at all for it. Sad, huh?

Also, my 18th birthday was also my last birthday in high school with all my friends and what not. One of the things I enjoyed about having my birthday during the school year is that every year on my birthday, I felt so special at school. You know, with the balloons you get to carry around and all the presents. I mean, that's a little materialistic, I know, but everyone deserves to feel special on their birthday right?

The good thing about having my birthday away from home, though is being able to party hard the night of with my friends of here! That's the ONLY thing I'm looking forward to. But, I have absolutely nothing to look forward to for spending my birthday with the family and my friends back home. :(

Anyway, enough of my ranting. That is all.

Current Music : JOHN MAYER -- all day, everyday
Current Read : Black Elk Speaks

The Age-Old debate...

Do you think God created evil?

So normally, when we discuss religion during seminar, I take everything in with a grain of salt. I don't expect everyone to be believers, and as much as I'd like them to be, I would never force anything down anyone's throats. However, today really got me thinking. I've questioned this before and I thought I knew the answer, but during our discussion I found myself going around in circles.

The question, in essence, is do you think God created evil?

Now, someone said yes but the class refuted that by saying, well, if God is supposed to be supreme good then he couldn't have created evil because that would mean that he is not all entirely good.

Then, some of the other people in the class said that God did not create evil, but because he created free will, HUMANS created evil. I, myself used to believe this. Especially because the whole Adam and Eve story. Everyone, including my teacher, was beginning to believe this idea, however, the class started trying to disprove this. Because if humans were powerful enough to create evil, and if God didn't create everything, following that logic would assume that we are just as powerful as God and that God isn't almighty because something else is just as powerful enough to create something like evil. Someone in class, at this point, quoted Genesis 1:31 and said that it only says that "God looked at everything he created and he found it very good." meaning that if taken literally, it doesnt say that he created everything, but only that what he did create was good. But then, that brings us back to that if something else is powerful enough to create evil, then God is not the almighty most powerful.

Then, one idea was maybe God didn't create evil, but he created the capacity to do evil. In other words, he didn't create evil in and of itself, but didn't prevent it from happening because he gave us the ability to choose evil. However, that was refuted because if that were the case, he would have had to create evil otherwise there would be nothing to distinguish good from evil as a choice.

Then there's the idea that maybe God just created free will and that's it. But then, if he only created free will, then how is it he can judge us for doing good or bad, if there is nothing distinguished as bad. AND if there is something distinguishable as bad, then God had to have created the bad, once again meaning that he is not all good.

Someone brought up the devil. Saying that maybe the devil created evil. But then, God created the devil right? Someone refuted that saying, no he created the angel which is good, but the angel turned away from god. So did that create evil? But then AGAIN what distinguishes that as evil? If going against God is evil because it makes him angry, then is God evil or not all good because he gets angry?

Do you see how this is confusing already? And how it got me thinking in crazy circles?

Now, this whole discussion started because we were reading St Augustine Confessions which is about a young man and his quest of conversion. This book questions everything including this very topic: the origin of evil. In his conclusion, he finalizes this debate by saying that evil just doesn't exist at all. To God, everything is good. As in everything singularly is good, just when there is a conflict of interest so things only SEEM evil. I almost bought that explanation. However, I get thrown off because if evil does not exist then and there is no evil, how does that explain all the bad in the world. How are we to justify the bad that does happen in the world? That is is actually not evil? So then why does God punish us?

In the end, I sort of found myself at the beginning. I still can't really come to a conclusion.
Any explanations? I'm free to discussion.

That is all.

It's been a while..

but, trust me, I have a lot to say. I've been inspired, so to speak. Just busy.
I will be back.

Stay tuned. :)

You love me, I love you harder

With the help of my friends Irene and Terrance, I discovered a new like: Beard Papa's cream puffs. I know, I know, I might be a little late, but whatever. I really like it. And today, I discovered that I like them a lot better frozen. :)

Today I also discovered that I am totally and completely in love with almost every single thing in the store Urban Outfitters. I mean, I've always liked the store and would purchase things here and there. But today, I realized that if I could, I would purchase almost 90% of what is there. All the way down to the witty books they have. Call me a bandwagon jumper, but I love all the 48/58 dollar shirts and blouses available there. What's worse is that I realized this today because my sister and I realized that we actually DO have an Urban Outfitters in Walnut Creek. Ack!

Whilst on our mini adventure to Walnut Creek, I also almost got my helia pierced! The line at Zebra's was wayyyyy too long though. So I shall proceed to get that piercing on its original scheduled date, March 31st. Also known as my 19th birthday! Weee!

One last thing I discovered today: my new favorite song is 6 Months by Hey Monday. Talk about love at first LISTEN! Gahhh! It's so dreamy (if you can even attribute that to a song!). Anyway, that is my current new obsession.

Today was just full of discoveries.

That is all.
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PS I also discovered that I got a 96 on my Micro midterm! Yayyy me!
PPS Happy 4 and 4 Babe!

Current Read: The Tipping Point by Malcom Gladwell
Current Listen: 6 months - Hey Monday

My brain just might explode.

I'm not kidding.
I've been studying for a good 4.5 hours and honestly, I feel it has gotten me nowhere. Okay, maybe somewhere, but definitely not where I want to be or should be.

I just want to get to the fun stuff already. I know, I know. No pain, no gain. But, shit. I'm exhausted!

Anyway, I should really get back to studying. Any microbiology experts out there? Feel free to butt in and help me. K, thanks.

Oh yeah, and there's exactly 3 weeks and one day until I'm 19! Yeeeee! :)

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Current Read : Microbiology: An Introduction
Current Music : Silence (otherwise I'd sing along, hahah)

There are more important things in life.

If I've ever had a crazy week, it's this one. Hands down.

James' grandma passed away on Saturday. She wasn't my grandma, but I loved her like she was. My parents even loved her as much as I did. She was an amazing person, always making everyone comfortable, cooking really good food, and just being plain hospitable, even while she was sick. She was like super grandma. She was very family oriented and made sure her family stayed together and spent holidays together etc. Most importantly, however, she made James the happiest boy alive. Anything he wanted, she gave him. She took care of him in ways I could never take care of him. James loved his "yoya" and now she's gone. This breaks my heart as much as it's breaking his.

Since Saturday, there's been a whirlwind of events taking place. The planning of everything, the making sure everything is set, what time things are gonna be..etc. Being that I'm not even directly apart of the people planning and I'm stressed says a lot about how stressed James and his family must be. There's been prayers every night since and viewings start tomorrow until Thursday, the day of the funeral. I've rearranged my school schedules so I could make every possible event. What this means is... selling the Jimmy Eat World Tickets. It meant everything to me to go to that concert up until this happened. Now I know, and I'm continuing to learn, that there are more important things in life.

In fact, that's not the hardest thing I've had to do thus far. Actually, the hardest, most difficult thing is keeping James sane and happy. This usually comes easy to me. But recently, Ive been getting scared. I don't know if what I'm gonna say is going to make him sad, angry, annoyed. I know all I have to do is be there for him. I want to be there for him. More than anything in the world, I just want him to be okay. I don't want him to hurt. I've been doing anything in my power to make things okay for him and it's exhausting, but it's what I want more than anything and I am going to conintue to do whatever it takes. I owe him that. He deserves that.

Anyway, I hope all of you guys, no matter if you knew James or his family, to keep them and their grandma in your prayers. I also know an old friend of mine who is in the hospital , so my prayers are with him and his family as well.

That is all.

Mercedes (Yoya) Concepcion
Rest In Peace
1945-2009

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Current Music: A Song For Mama - Boys 2 Men
Current Read: The Tipping Point - Malcom Gladwell.