starting new.

if you've read my old posts, you would know that i began making this a secret journal.

screw that.

i'm over it. i don't think i really care anymore who reads this. all i know is that i miss writing in a journal. and whether you hold anything i write against me or not, i'm still gonna write. it's been a while. but long summer nights, when you should be sleeping but you're not, you start to think. and what better to do than type your thoughts down in a journal. so here goes.

who ever said that the summer after you're senior year is the best by far, was by far wrong. don't take me the wrong way, i have and always will love summer. but, the summer after your senior year is a bittersweet, more towards the bitter, time of the year. think about it. yeah, you get to start new, be on your own, meet new people, etc. etc. but, no matter how unpopular you were in high school OR how crappy of a time you had, you miss the people you've been with for almost 12 years, assuming you haven't moved. after high school, real life starts. you can't hide in high school anymore, relationships with anyone are tested, it's just a whole bunch of obstacles one after the other, coming at you. you think high school is full of drama, the voices inside my head keep telling me: you ain't seen nothing yet.

besides, i've never been a big fan of change.

with that said, i've been obsessing over spending every minute of every day, as much as possible, with james. we've been through a lot, but i'm not excited about the distance that will soon be between us. we've worked out schedules and times to see each other next year, but, i'm not gonna lie. i'm scared shitless.

anyway, looking for some new music to listen to or books to read?
my current music: adele
my current book: omnivore's dilemma

yours truly,
ennaliag. haha get it?